when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
