This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
