Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Randomize
