If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
