I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
