I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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