Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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