PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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