dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
where am i from again
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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