He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize