My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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