lets start a swedish sibling band together
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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