doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm passing your future prison.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
