idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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