dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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