Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
