and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
