I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
