Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
