what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
