What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
