im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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