My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
