just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
