It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Did I show you my penis last night?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
