Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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