I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
