I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
