My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
We need to get me chipped asap
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
