2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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