ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
