She is in my trunk
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
