So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
