Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Fuck appropriateness.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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