So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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