he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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