i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
