Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
