I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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