there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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