I accidentally had phone sex last night
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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