conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
