I CAN MOONWALK!
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
