Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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