One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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