Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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