none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
