Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
