Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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