Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
