Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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