We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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