Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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