Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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