you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
