she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
